10. Can't even get to first base with any of the campaign interns 9. In the polls you're running just behind Regis 8. Biggest campaign contribution is half-a-roll of Lifesavers 7. At fundraising dinners, they make you sit at card table with kids 6. Paula Jones says she wouldn't even think of doing it with you 5. Show: "Oprah", Topic: "Incredible Losers", Guest: You 4. You tell people you're running for president, and they say "president of what?" 3. All you feel like doing lately is throwing baseballs at an archery target (roll vt) 2. The only politician who endorses you is Mayor McCheese 1. You nail three hookers on the Capitol steps, and the press just doesn't care
From "The Late Show with David Letterman", 03/06/1996 |