10. Power forward was featured on Ricki Lake's "Too Fat to Love?" episode

9. Whenever someone does a lay-up, he burns his arm on his cigarette

8. Players always show up at away games exhausted from all the hitchhiking

7. The Las Vegas odds against your team involve the sign for infinity

6. Your center won't stand during the national anthem because he's too drunk

5. The only thing Dick Vitale can say about them is, "These guys got a good grade point average, baby!"

4. Players refuse to guard other team because they're all "sticky and sweaty"

3. Jesse Jackson is protesting against team for being "too white"

2. They pointedly inform interviewers that the correct term is "little people," not "midgets"

1. Starting Center: Roger Ebert