10. Have you ever moved into a house after hillbillies have lived there?

9. Afraid his secret draft-dodging past would be revealed

8. Was under the impression he'd have to marry Hillary

7. Duties as President would take time away from duties as secretary/treasurer of Leonard Nimoy fan club

6. Taking relaxing 2-month vacation on O.J.'s "Search for the Real Killers"

5. Thought it might be fun to sit back, watch Clinton screw up another 4 years

4. Afraid he'd be embarrassed by his deadbeat brother, Roger Powell

3. Would rather get a job Americans still respect

2. Same reason I'm not hosting next year's Academy Awards - the people want Whoopi

1. Five words: "White House Correspondent Sam Donaldson"