Dave Barry
"Let me tell you who the actual front-runners are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Right. For example, they had him make a speech oozing praise all over William Loeb, deceased publisher of the Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader and Slime Journalist. Loeb had dumped viciously all over George in the 1980 New Hampshire primary. But when the Right held a big tribute for Loeb, George came back to the fold, like a man with a bungee cord wrapped around his neck."