P. J. O'Rourke
"An hour's perusal of our national charter makes it hard to understand what the argle-bargle is about. The First Amendment forbids infringments of the freedom of speech ''except for commercials on children's television'' or ''unless somebody says '****' in a rap song or 'chick' on a college campus.'' The Second Amendment states that ''The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infridged,'' period. There is no mention of magazine size, rate of fire, or to what exent those arms may resemble assault rifles."