10. "With Michael Jordan gone, maybe your team will have a chance to win"

9. "You never know who Dennis Rodman is going to marry next"

8. "We've added a third basket for more scoring"

7. "We all just lost a lot of money, so please tip your point guard"

6. "What else are you gonna watch -- hockey?"

5. "A lot like the WNBA, but with men"

4. "Please watch our games so we don't have to get real jobs"

3. "Who knows, maybe one of our players will become Governor of Minnesota"

2. "Some arenas are now selling nachos for under $20"

1. "More millionaires in shorts than at a Microsoft company picnic!"