10. New clothing line features sweat stains under each sleeve

9. Yells at slow contestants, "Hurry up, Einstein, people are reaching for their clickers"

8. During commercial breaks, desperately checking "Help Wanted" ads

7. Every time hears word "Survivor" snaps weeping into fetal position

6. He and Kathie Lee almost never have sex now

5. All cooking demonstrations involve rat meat

4. On morning show, swills gin like it's ginger ale

3. Instead of "Final answer?" now asks contestants, "Seriously, do you think they're gonna cancel us?"

2. To pass $1,000 mark, players must eat handful of grubs

1. Believe it or not, he's been kind of jittery lately