10. No one talks about Hamptons, just people they've "shivved"

9. Can't borrow the other girls' scrunchies without getting head lice

8. Surly servants act more like a bunch of armed guards

7. Plenty of wall space, but no plasma TV

6. "Who taught these people how to make a mocha latte?"

5. "They tried to take away my shoelaces and belt -- like I'd wear a belt with capri pants"

4. Meal servers give attitude when you order off the menu

3. Denied a court-supervised visit to Bloomingdale's

2. "240 women sharing 3 showers? What is this -- Vassar?!"

1. "You can't, like, leave"