10. It's like smallpox but monkey-er

9. Monkeys have them, and everyone loves monkeys, no?

8. Most of your days spent picking nits out of your fur

7. You're automatically entered in the World Health Organization's raffle for a new 2003 Pontiac Vibe

6. Chills and fever-induced sweating will help you "beat the heat" all summer

5. Take a sip of a friend's Coke and say, "Oh yeah, I have monkeypox." That means free Coke!

4. You're able to eat bananas with your feet

3. A secure government quarantine facility is a great place to meet babes

2. Always exciting to hear a doctor say, "Dear God what the hell is that?"

1. People stare at your big red ass