10. Yankee bats rendered powerless

9. Straight men give gay men makeovers

8. For your safety, Taco Bell advises thinking inside the bun until storm is over

7. All cell phones have the same ring -- the theme from "Rocky"

6. George W. Bush speaks clearly

5. At grocery checkouts, all products scan as those Stella D'Oro butter cookies

4. Technical glitch causes old jokes to appear in Top Ten list

3. Clintern

2. Liza Minnelli kicks the crap out of everything in sight

1. A musclehead will rise to lead California