10. "Saddam" is Kurdish for "Duane"

9. Had just acquired a New York City cabdriver's license

8. Surprisingly, dots his "I"s with hearts

7. You won't find a bigger Clay Aiken fan

6. Four of clubs? Gay

5. His "divine plan for world domination" was written on back of Blimpie's coupon

4. Continued to name himself "Iraqi of the Month" right through November

3. Was working on a book of "You Might Be a Dictator If..." jokes

2. Funneled money to ABC to throw Trista and Ryan a fabulous wedding

1. He wrote letters to "Penthouse" under name "Sexy in Spider Hole"