10. Because of paperwork, his rescues generally take 3 to 5 business days

9. That white stuff on his nose? Ranch dressing

8. When waves destroy a sand castle, frantically searches for tiny people

7. If swimmers go out too far, gets their attention by firing a spear-gun at them

6. When sitting in the lifeguard stand, insists on wearing a bib

5. Will only come to the rescue of people named "Larry"

4. Has a paralyzing fear of terry cloth

3. He's engaged to his whistle

2. Last week someone needed assistance and he said, "Ah screw it - - let Aquaman take this one"

1. Keeps trying to give himself CPR