10. It's so hot, Tom Ridge had raised the terror alert to "Sticky"

9. It's so hot, drug dealers are selling something called "Iced Crackuccino"

8. It's so hot, Michael Moore's making a new movie, "Fahrenheit 98 and Humid"

7. It's so hot, Randy Johnson is demanding a trade to Montreal

6. It's so hot, Jennifer Lopez just got engaged to Mister Softee

5. It's so hot, delicious hot pockets are now simply referred to as "pockets"

4. It's so hot, Martha Stewart just got an inside tip on air conditioners

3. It's so hot, even Ralph Nader's campaign is showing traces of heat

2. It's so hot, Courtney Love has an excuse for being disoriented and unintelligible

1. It's so hot, hookers are charging 50 dollars just to blow on you