10. More than once, you deliberately tried to choke on a turkey bone.

9. Turkeys were sold out, so you ended up with a butterball frozen monkey.

8. The thing you were most thankful for? Everyone leaving.

7. Local shop ran out of pilgrim costumes, so people dressed as astronauts.

6. While you were stuffing the turkey, your brother was stuffing your wife.

5. Everyone else was sluggish because of tryptophan, you were sluggish because of salmonella.

4. You ended up being thankful for the attractively priced combo meals at Taco Bell.

3. Instead of "white meat or dark meat?", you were asked "bone or gristle?"

2. Mom couldn't get any cooking done because of all the phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.

1. Just as you were sitting down to dinner, your family was beaten by Ron Artest.