10. Pilots have to pay for their inflight cocktails.

9. Ticket agents urging travelers to stay home.

8. To maximize space, seats no longer recline a luxurious inch-and-a-half.

7. Oxygen mask compartments replaced with video poker screens.

6. Instead of complimentary pillows, wadded-up clothing pulled out of checked luggage.

5. Difference between first class and coach? A bite-size 3 Musketeers bar.

4. From now on, planes will taxi from one destination to another on the interstate.

3. I don't know, but how hard is it to open them peanuts, am I right people?

2. In case of water landing, your only flotation device is the fat guy in 16F.

1. Inflight "movie" is home video of the pilot "Gettin' It On".