10. Files all documents under "D" for "Document".

9. Types 60 words a week.

8. Autopsies on her last 5 bosses show lethal amounts of wite-out.

7. "Flu attacks" suspiciously coincide with Yankees home day games.

6. Wears inappropriately short skirts, no matter how many times you tell him not to.

5. Will only dispense "petty cash" to Tom Petty or one of the Heartbreakers.

4. Instead of chatting by water cooler, goes 30 miles away to chat by reservoir.

3. You asked if anyone called--he said, "I'm not here to talk about the past, I'm here to talk about the present."

2. Every night tries to fax self home.

1. Filed a sexual harassment lawsuit because you asked her to take dictation.