10. Your full house loses to the dealer's six-of-a-kind

9. They're playing "Will It Float?" in the lobby with a bag of fertilizer

8. There's a high-stakes table, a low-stakes table, and a kids table

7. Has strict no-gambling policy

6. Advertises that its slots are "almost as loose as your wife"

5. Free buffet is all-you-can-eat lemon wedges

4. One spin of roulette wheel lasts 7 to 10 days

3. Their big headliner: The withered corpse of Mel Torme

2. No Rat Pack, but there are packs of rats.

1. It has the word "Trump" in the name.