10. Let him oppress just one Kurd a few hours a week

9. Surprise him with a year's supply of mustache dye

8. Bring him his old "World's Greatest Dictator" mug

7. Laugh at his impression of Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad

6. Give him a collection of hilarious "Yo mullah's so fat" jokes

5. Remind him his one permitted phone call saved him 15% on his car insurance

4. Membership in the "Falafel of the Month Club"

3. Show him some of them "Hey, Vern" movies

2. Package of new underpants

1. Three words: Los Angeles jury