10. Goodbye Gatorade, hello Colt 45

9. For next two stages will be riding a unicycle

8. Is only giving 109%

7. Shouts, "Which one of you French bastards want my autograph?"

6. Yesterday rode twenty miles out of his way looking for whores

5. Already put the yellow championship jersey for auction on eBay

4. Lets fans ride on the handlebars

3. During stage 18, took in the noon showing of "Wedding Crashers"

2. On alternate days, substitutes his fat brother Dennis Armstrong

1. Took detour to nail Jude Law's nanny