10. "Pete Rose bet me I wouldn't do it"

9. There wasn't a Starbucks around and I needed a quick pick-me up"

8. "I enjoy the fresh minty flavor"

7. "Uhh, I lost it in the sun?"

6. "Somebody must've slipped something into my Viagra"

5. "Steroids illegal?! Since when?"

4. "Heard steroids give your mustache a glossy coat"

3. "Memory loss from steroid use made me forget I was on steroids"

2. " 'Roids rule, dude!"

1. "How am I supposed to keep track of every single thing I stick up my ass?"