10. "First ten students are offered jobs as professors"

9. "Latin motto translates to 'I can't believe it's not butter'"

8. "'Kollege'" is spelled with a 'K'"

7. "All that's in library: paperback anthologies of 'Garfield'"

6. "The Dean's List salutes students who've slept with the dean"

5. "All buildings covered with ivy...on the inside"

4. "You're constantly being acosted by Al Qaeda recruiters"

3. "'Philosophy' lectures are based on that day's Jerry Springer Final Thought"

2. "Most notable alumnus? Fema director Michael Brown"

1. "You ask about the college endowment ...and the admissions officer drops his pants"