10. "You ran out of booze by 11am"

9. "Most frequently used word at dinner: Heimlich"

8. "Meal was leftovers from last Thanksgiving"

7. "Thanks to new electric knife, kids fought over wishbone and your severed thumb"

6. "The 'turkey' was wearing a dog collar"

5. "Spent day in Times Square waiting for the giant turkey to drop"

4. "Woke up from tryptophan-induced sleep to find yourself naked in the driveway"

3. "When dinner came out, so did your son"

2. "Laura and the twins lock you out"

1. "Your turkey dinner was the only breast you've touched all year"