10. "Got you Knicks season tickets"

9. "Pounds glass of milk and then your wife"

8. "Rudolph left you a gift on your roof"

7. "Your only gifts this year: Bits of old food he found on his beard"

6. "Instead of 'Merry Christmas', he tells you, "suck it'"

5. "Someone had 'keyed' the side of your car with a candy cane"

4. "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, and posts photos online of you in the tub"

3. "He sends his drunk brother Ronnie Kringle"

2. "You're the idiot who told the New York transit workers to go on strike"

1. "Instead of 'naughty' or 'nice', you're listed as 'asshole'"