10. Wants to spend more time with his goat

9. Unflattering courtroom sketches make him look chunky

8. Got a part in the hit reality show "Mustaching With The Stars"

7. Just named partner at the law firm Muhammad, Muhammad, Muhammad, and Weintraub

6. Lost faith in everything after finding out Oprah's book club is rigged

5. Courtroom reeks of beard dye and curry

4. Finally got clearence to open Iraq's first Jack in the Box franchise

3. I don't know, the daily death threats?

2. Conflict of interest -- he also enjoys eating Doritos in his underpants

1. Tired of Saddam calling him a "Godless, son-of-a-whore"