10. Plans to release next threatening videotape in high-definition

9. In the seventies, had a gay fling with the blind sheikh

8. Secretly likes Kosher pickles

7. Middle name: Duane

6. Stole "Death to America" catchphrase from Fran Tarkenton

5. Got cave hooked up with Sirius so he can listen to Howard Stern

4. Knows all the words to the Black Eyed Peas song "My Humps"

3. After Colts loss to Steelers, declared jihad on Mike Vanderjagt

2. Has a bumper sticker that reads, "Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry"

1. The son-of-a-bitch is still alive