10. "Instead of CPA training, employees got CPR training"

9. "Forgot to carry the one 32 million times"

8. "For years we've been secretly funding Hamas"

7. "H was out sick that day and R was on jury duty"

6. "We were using Martha Stewart's guy"

5. "Were testing the world's first accounting monkey"

4. "Come on, it's a couple of dollars. It's not like we shot a guy in the face..."

3. "Hard to stay focused when you've been drinking since April 16th"

2. "Thirty-two million dollars?! We lose that much on a good day"

1. "Hoping for hot make-up sex with the IRS"