10. Has iPod pacemaker that keeps his heart beating to Aerosmith

9. Enjoys reading his grandson excerpts from shady defense contracts

8. First vice president since Mondale to take a leak in the Rose Garden

7. Not sure if this is significant but he was the last to see Don Knotts alive

6. Has a daily 5 o'clock meeting with advisors Jim Beam and Jack Daniel's

5. In 1994, underwent a failed sneer-reduction procedure

4. The second the cameras are off, so are his pants

3. His undisclosed location is a Hooters in San Antonio

2. Loves the elderly -- well, shooting at them

1. His approval rating is now lower than his number of heart attacks