10. Brief cameo by a topless Martha Stewart

9. In 1983, Howard paid Cher $2 million for permission to use her hair style

8. Role of "Baba Booey" played by Sir John Gielgud

7. Movie is about Howard's years as a gifted but eccentric piano player

6. Stuttering John is the real father of Michael Jackson's baby

5. As a youth, Howard was a dead ringer for Urkel

4. Shockingly violent scene in which Howard is nearly beaten to death by Casey Kasem

3. The fact that I, David Letterman, got to be in another movie after "Cabin Boy"

2. In a surprising twist of events, it turns out that Howard sort of, like, digs lesbians

1. Howard's father: Darth Vader