Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
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David Letterman "According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city anytime." (Late Night with David Letterman)