1. May all your teeth fall out except for the one with the toothache!



2. May your daughter's hair grow thick and abundant, all over her face!



3. May onions grow in your navel!



4. May the IRS disallow all your deductions!



5. May you have an interesting and exotic vacation, in Haiti!



6. May the Easter Bunny leave you rotten eggs and jellied green beans!



7. May you be given a lump of coal for Christmas!



8. May all of Santa's reindeer get the shits on your roof!



9. May you be stricken with epilepsy while having open heart surgery!



10. May you be ticketed for driving 56 on the Interstate highway!



11. May you be described in the paper as an "alleged child molester."



12. May you swallow a fishbone whilst eating sushi!



13. May all the BBSs deny you access forevermore!



14. May you try your luck at roller skating, while descending the stairs!



15. May a mean surgeon sew up your asshole!



16. May your boat capsize in the middle of the lake, and may your mother
attract to attention as she runs up and down the shore, barking.



17. May the fleas of a thousand dead camels infest one of your errogenous zones.



18. May you turn into a chandelier, and hang all day and burn all night!



19. May the desert winds blow a pissed off scorpion up your undershorts.