"Hey, there's a dikfer on your forehead?" "A what?" "A dikfer." "What's a dikfer?" "Well, if you don't know I'm not gonna tell you."
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Steven Wright "I saw a close friend of mine the other day...He said, ''Stephen, why haven't you called me?'' I said, ''I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it.'' He said, ''How long have you had it?'' I said, ''I don't know...my calendar has no sevens on it.''"
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