One day a man came home from work and told his wife, "Hon, I had the urge to put my thing in the pickle slicer."
"Oh, my God, you should get some help!" his wife said. The next day he came home.
"Hon, I had that urge again!"
"That's it! After work tomorrow, I'm taking you to a doctor!"
The third day he came home all depressed and said, "Hon, I finally did it."
"WHAT HAPPENED?"
"They fired me - and the pickle slicer too."