My computer crashed and died today

And I thought, "oh well what the hey"

Now I'd have time to clean my house

And see if I still had a spouse



It started out with weird frustrations

Combined with mild heart palpitations

And then my ankles began to swell

Withdrawal symptoms from no AOL



Chills ran up and down my spine

Oh, God I had to get on-line

To greet my buds and check my mail

I began to feel helpless and frail



Then I remembered the Good Guy's Store

And all those computers by the door

I'd go there and when alone

With no one looking I'd sign-on



I stepped up to a computer, clicked on AOL

The Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell

I clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem sound

I was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to pound



Then I typed my password, and the computer said, "Goodbye"

And that's what I kept hearing each time that I would try.

This was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks

If only they had known how bad I need my AOL fix



I ...slowly... typed... my... password... then...I... stood....and...waited

The darned thing said , "Goodbye" again and I got real frustrated

That's when I shoved the keyboard thru the monitor screen

And the last thing I remember is my loud shrieking scream



When I woke I was handcuffed being booked

I think I asked the data entry cop, if he'd get me a drink

Now I'm sitting in his chair, and I know I can get well

If I can just use his computer to sign on AOL.