Ellen Degeneres virus.....Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC



Monica Lewinsky virus.....Sucks all the memory out of your computer



Titanic virus.....Makes your whole computer go down



Disney virus.....Everything in the computer goes Goofy



Mike Tyson virus.....Quits after one byte



Lorena Bobbit virus.....Turns your hard disk into a 3.5-inch floppy



Tim Allen virus.....Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive



Woody Allen virus.....Bypasses the motherboard and turns on daughter card



Saddam Hussein virus.....Won't let you into any of your programs



Tonya Harding virus.....Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons



Joey Buttafuoco virus.....Only attacks minor files



X-files virus.....All your Icons start shape-shifting



Ronald Reagan virus.....Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored



Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus.....Deletes your old files