Here's a Minnesota Guide to Computer Lingo



LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter



LOG OFF: don't add no more vood



MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove



MEGAHERTZ: vhen da big log drops on your barefoot in da morning



FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from pilingk too much vood



RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork



HARD DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter



PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season



ENTER: come on in



WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets below zero



SCREEN: vhat you gotta fix on da windows during black fly season



CHIP: vhat ya munch during Vikings games



MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips are gone



MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly



DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix's wife



LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit



KEYBOARD: vhere ya suppose to hang da keys so da Misses can find em



SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?



MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard



MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna dat holds up da roof



PORT: vhere da commercial fishin guys tie up dere boats



DOCKING STATION: da same as PORT



RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can't remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da wife asks about it