A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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Winston Churchill Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
(replying to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!')
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