An Italian kid, on a six-month cruise in the Navy, decides to send pictures to his mom and girlfriend. He takes a picture of himself naked, then rips it in half, intending to send the top half to his mother and the bottom half to his girlfriend. But he mixes them up.

When his mother gets his letter, she looks at the picture and says, "Atsa my Luigi ... long nose, droopy cheeks, and don't-a never shave."