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Votes so far: 409
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What Men Want
- More beer. More cheese. More sex.
- Vitamin fortified cigars.
- Public beer fountains.
- Kitty catapults.
- All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.
- Wet T-shirt Fridays.
- Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.
- Rocket boots.
- Machine gun camp.
- NASA space shuttle races.
- Sledgehammer boxing.
- Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments.
- Congressional pie fights.
- Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.
- More beer. More cheese. More sex.
- Tomahawk missile surf boards.
- Hot tub jury boxes.
- Nacho cheese lipstick.
- Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.
- New TV shows: PBS' The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America's Funniest Farts.
- 24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.
- More beer. More cheese. More sex.
- Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when used.
- Inflatable sex dolls who cook.
- Beef jerky business cards.
- Combination briefcase/pizza oven.
- National Make-Out with Cheerleaders Day.
- Art museums dedicated to framing copy-machine faxes of asses.
- Robot gloves for crushing kegs of beer.
- Karaoke "ejector" stages.
- Opera glasses that broadcast ESPN.
- The Astronaut Reserves.
- Porno without all the "talking" filler.
- Head banging elevated to "fine art".
- All money spent on women tax deductible!
- Free BBQ buffet at the DMV.
- Passports to Margaritaville.
- The ability to telepathically force anyone to belch on the spot.
- One "Get Out of the Doghouse" card.
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