A ventriloquist walks into a small Australian town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog and figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: 'G'day mate. Good looking dog... mind if l speak to him?'

Local: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid man.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey dog, how's it going old mate?'

Dog: 'Doin' all right.'

Local: (Look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist (pointing at local): 'Is this man your owner?'

Dog: 'Yep.'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and lakes me to the river once a week to play.'

Local: (Look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Local: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either... I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool.'

Local: (Absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist (pointing at local): 'Is this your owner?'

Horse: 'Yep.'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.'

Local: (Total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if l talk to your sheep?'

Local: 'The sheep's a bloody liar!'