10. 1986-89: Body Double for Pillsbury Doughboy.

9. 1973: Voted Yale Law School "Most Weaselly."

8. References available upon subpoena.

7. June 1988: Secretly married Carmen Electra.

6. Career objective: Keeping my fat ass out of prison.

5. 1997 Winner of the Golden Moonshine Jug for Outstanding Hillbilly Achievement.

4. Executive Director, American Society of Bubbas.

3. 1997: Cruller Tester, Winchell's Donuts.

2. Proud father of over 200 students at Little Rock Junior High.

1. Can lie fluently in seven languages.