What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm? A pimp.
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Erma Bombeck "I'm used to dogs. When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. A cat would never put up with that kind of rejection. When you returned, she'd stalk you until you dozed off and then suck the air out of your body."