JokeBug.com, the largest collection of jokes on the Internet
Want to send us your jokes?
Please Register or Login!

Search all the funny jokes in JokeBug.comFun Links


Search all the funny jokes in JokeBug.comSearch


Categories in JokeBug.comCategories


- Funny Pictures

- Blonde Jokes

- Knock Knock Jokes

- Lawyer Jokes

- Lightbulb Jokes

- Lists Jokes

- Marriage Jokes

- Medical Jokes

- Misc Jokes

- Political Jokes

- Redneck Jokes

- Religious Jokes

- Sports Jokes

- Top Ten Jokes

- True Stories Jokes

- Work Jokes

- Yo Mama Jokes


Poll




Redneck Jokes: Atlanta School Board





Atlanta School Board



The Atlanta School Board, feeling left out by the fuss over "Ebonics," has decided to designate Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as alanguage to be taught in all Southern schools.  Here are excerpts from theHickphonics/English dictionary:


HEIDI -- noun.  Greeting.


HIRE YEW - Complete sentence.  Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."


BARD -- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."


JAWJUH -- noun. A state just north of Florida.  Capital is Hot-lanta.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."


MUNTS -- noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."


IGNERT -- adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"


RANCH -- noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."


ALL -- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. 
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."


FAR -- noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."


BAHS -- noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work (or studying), your bahs is gonna far you!"


TAR -- noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."


TIRE -- noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."


RETARD -- Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."


TARRED -- adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."


FAT -- noun, verb.  1. a battle or combat.  2. to engage in battle or combat.


ARE -- pronoun.  Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.


RATS -- noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."


FARN -- adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."


DID -- adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."


EAR -- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some ear!"


BOB WAR -- noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."


JEW HERE -- Noun and verb contraction. 
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"


HAZE -- a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert." 


SEED -- verb, past tense.


VIEW -- contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?" 


HEAVY DEW -- phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?" 


GUMMIT -- noun. A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert."


Sent by : N/A
Rating :


Email this joke to a friend
Your name :
Your email address :
Your friends name :
Your friends address :
Receive jokes in your email.

Rate this joke


Very Poor


Poor


Average


Good


Very Good


VISIT OUR SPONSOR!


Sponsored Links



Suscribe to our funny jokes and quotes newsletter in JokeBug.comSubscribe







JokeBug.com