13> "None for me, thanks.  That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."

12> "Tampax!  Get your Tampax here!"

11> "Hey, shut up!  I can't hear the race!"

10> "Sex with your sister!?  Man, that's sick."

9> "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"

8> "Hey, you with the large breasts — out of the way!  We're trying to watch a race here!"

7> "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attaché case. Then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone."

6> "What a coincidence, Hank — all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"

5> "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"

4> "Good morning, Mr. Trickle.   We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."

3> "Whew!  No more beer for me, fellas..."

2> "Filling in for Dale 'The Intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."

1> "...and now, singing our national anthem — international recording artist Boy George!"