Why do men walk so fast? They've got three legs! Why do women talk so much? They've got two mouths!
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Bill Bryson Here are instructions for being a pigeon:
1. Walk around aimlessly for a while, pecking at cigarette butts and other inappropriate items. 2. Take fright at someone walking along the platform and fly off to a girder. 3. Have a shit. 4. Repeat.