10. Win or lose, New York fans are still going to give you the finger.

9. Eyes weepy and red from viewing Titanic.

8. Shouldn't have replaced bucket of Gatorade with keg of Coors Light.

7. Team's starting quarterback: Angela Landsbury.

6. Misheard chants of "Go Team" as "Go blow a nine-point lead with a minute and a half to go."

5. Spent halftime watching those flickering Japanese cartoons.

4. More fun to stay home and enjoy those awesome Super Bowl commercials.

3. Because of typo, spent week before game practicing foosball.

2. Wanted to prove that Latrell Spreewell isn't the only one who chokes.

1. Footballs is slippery.