10. Slim back down to his college weight of 3

9. Limit extra-marital affairs to women named "Connie."

8. At press conferences, answer every question with, "Don't go there, girlfriend!"

7. At least once a week, break a law he's never broken before.

6. Stop giggling when he hears the word "subpoena."

5. End his eight year affair with former Charlie's Angel Cheryl Ladd.

4. Eat his own weight in those new Burger King fries.

3. Rename Camp David "Senor Tubby's Rancho del Amore."

2. Instead of fundraising "coffees," hold fundraising "gravies."

1. Smell less bacony.