10. You're looking especially puffy today, Mr. Daddy.

9. I need a limo and some jumper cables to start Keith Richards' heart.

8. Bitchin' stage dive, Mayor Giuliani.

7. If these awards are so important, why are they broadcast on CBS?

6. Bjork, meet Dave Letterman--the Djork.

5. Uh-oh, Marilyn Manson's melting under the stage lights.

4. The president canceled when he found out the Rockettes wouldn't be here.

3. The guys from Hanson just asked me to buy them some beer.

2. Hey, the Spice Girls sneaked in dressed as caterers!..Oh, they are the caterers.

1. LeAnn Rimes, Busta Rhymes. Busta Rhymes, LeAnn Rimes.