10. "Want to break some commandments?"

9. "Whoa -- are you from the planet of the babes?"

8. "You have the right to bear my children."

7. "There's no five-day waiting period for this handgun."

6. "Wanna see me turn a snake into a stick?"

5. "I know a secluded spot in the woods where we can riddle each other with bullets."

4. "My films ain't the only things that last three hours..."

3. "I'm a far better lover than that freaky 'Late Show' announcer Alan Kalter."

2. "Charlton wants to put his gun in your holster."

1. "I've got the gun, you've got the rack."