10. "I haven't felt as attractive since that doctor surgically removed my sex organs."

9. "Oh god, he's going to make me chase that damn frisbee again."

8. "I'm 63 years old and my name is 'Waffles'."

7. "What if the computers at Alpo can't handle the Y2K bug?"

6. "If I ever catch the idiot who invented 'fetch' I'm gonna bite his arm off."

5. "You're serving me Cycle 5? Oh, just put me to sleep already."

4. "How would he like it if I called myself Snoop Humany Human?"

3. "Maybe 'CATS' is 'now and forever'."

2. "Adam Sandler makes $20 million a film and I'm drinking out of a toilet."

1. "Ted Danson has another series?"