10. They call me 'Don Juan in diaper'.

9. I'm a 400 pound hunk of burnin' love.

8. Let's enjoy the traditional Japanese custom of gettin' it on.

7. Wanna wrassle?

6. I may look tubby, but I got an ass like a jackhammer.

5. People say I look like a young Paul Newman.

4. Wanna do it with a fat guy?

3. I'm 3 percent muscle, 50 percent fat, and 100 percent sex machine.

2. You can be on top.

1. I've got Mount Fuji in my pants.